Perception- People only see what they are prepared to see !

                One of the most important skills that one should have to become successful in any profession "people skills-How to deal with people", a person may be a good artist, at the same time he/she may not be the most successful artist in the society. The best architect who has got all the brilliant ideas in the world may not emerge as the successful architect in the city. In any profession a skill which is very critical is people skill.

"Is it so difficult to deal with people?"

                I personally feel it is not that easy for lot of people because people think differently. I and you think differently in different ways. We see the same thing, and we may have two different perceptions. All those opinions what we form about anything are based on the perceptions we create in our mind.

"Why people have different perceptions?"

                For e.g., a married couple have been living together for the past 20 years and now wife says, "even after living with me for 20 years, still you can't understand me?" its a common statement in most of the houses. This happens because two different people always think in different ways, their perceptions are different, their thoughts are different, and the ways their thoughts are being generated are completely different.

"Why people think different?"

                For e.g., the color one may like, the place one may want to go and the food one may eat and others may not, because their thoughts are formed and brought out thru their brain. The point is, right from the birth of a person, his/her brain has been storing all the information. The brain uses that information to create perceptions on every situation. The kind of data stored in my brain and your brain will be completely different and it leads to the thoughts formed or the perceptions created or the paradigms will be different.

                Suppose a person is continuously being exposed to completely negative thoughts, for e.g. you cannot do this; I won't get a job; you will be failure in your life; etc. And there is another gentleman who is exposed to encouragement, for e.g. you have the capacity to do it; you will be successful; etc. As these two people come with two different kinds of mindsets, these two people will be responding in two different ways in any situation.

                The thing is how we can change the programming that has been done in brain. For the last few decades you must have been living on this earth and collecting all the suggestions or have been reading a lot of things, that are stored in your brain. Based on these inputs the brain forms the output. You cannot change it over night, but you can change it by using scientific methodologies like thought process re-engineering. in simple way you can do it by changing the inputs like what you read, what you see, what you listen and whom you listen to, what kind of people you associate with.

                That's why it is generally being said that "You tell me the kind of books you read, the kind of music you listen to, and the kind of associations you have, I can tell you who you are."

Outer Beauty & Inner Beauty

          I want to throw some light on how society has conditioned us in believing beauty is all about physical appearance. I want to stress on the fact, how inner beauty is far more important than outer beauty and share some ways of how you can enhance your own inner beauty.

      As an example, I recall a story I read some time back. There was a notorious gangster living in a society. Obviously people thought he had a bad influence on the kids and they were fed up with the violence. So they set up a meeting and put a plan in place to drive him out of the community. One morning the gangster was going on his casual walk. Somebody came and stopped and said "Good Morning! What happened? Your face looks so dull". The gangster continued to move ahead thinking "Why do I look dull today?" now the second man joined him and he said "Oh! What happened, you look so sick and tired? You also seem to have lost some weight, you look very weak. Haven't you seen the doctor yet?" now the gangster is already feeling tired and his body temperature has slightly gone up. In his 1 mile walk, ten more people joined him and said the same things. And by the time he gets home, he has high temperature fever and he feels really sick. These people didn't stop at that. Every 30 mins, without fail visit him and tell all the things to him. Believe it or not, in the short period of 5 days, the gangster died.

         Now, all that it is a simple story that may or may not have happened. But this has a very strong psychological lesson in it. It clearly depicts the power of a message that is repeatedly bombarded on us. Regardless of the message that is true or not, it has the same effect. Now, let's draw some parallels about the society has done to us in the context of beauty. Over decades, the society thru television commercials, magazine ads, thru celebrities, models, they portray the image of beauty to us. An image that says "beauty means falling under a certain height and weight, beauty means having a six pack body, beauty means following latest fashions and trends" and it goes on. Especially woman, they are under enormous pressure to look young and beautiful. It makes me wonder just like the plan that the community put together against the gangster, is the plan that the society has put together to keep a woman worrying about her hair and makeup. In that way they don't strive to achieve bigger and better things in life.

While the external beauty goes with age, inner beauty grows with age. To grow old and die one day is the law of nature. There is not one single product or procedure to stop that. For my question "Why fight a battle, if we cannot win?"

Say if you are investing in something, what do you think? You think about return on investment right? If I put this much of time and money, what am I getting back in return? If I ask you "I have a great project, invest Rs.10000 in it today, and 5 yrs later, I'll come back and give you Rs.100, would you invest in it?" We should be smart enough not to invest something that is not going to appreciate in value with time.

     We all think the same way, then why this foolishness? Why make investments in external beauty that we all know for sure will fade away with time, and not in inner beauty that is going to increase with time. 

Now what are the some of the ways that we can enhance our inner beauty?  I want to share four important points

1. Try to understand yourself, constantly develop qualities like compassion, kindness, generosity, patience, honesty and other noble qualities.
2. Surround yourself with amazing people who inspire you and let you own inner beauty shine thru.
3. Read excellent books that enrich and expand you thinking.
4. Avoid negative thought and focus on the positive things.

        I am sure there are lots of things that you can do. But, if you can focus and daily practice and working on these four things, I am sure you are well on your way to let your inner beauty blossom.

       To summarize, remember outer beauty goes with age while inner beauty grows with age. I urge you to be smart in the investment that you make from today onwards and don't fall for the spooky tricks that the society and the media plays on you.

"For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others. For beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness. For beautiful figure, share you food with the hungry and for poise, always walk with the knowledge that you are never alone."- Audrey Hepburn

Green Green!!

          Today, every manufacturer has strategies to go “green”, but what does it really mean by “going green”? Why do businesses go "green"? Who is the "green consumer"? You'd be knowing a basic idea on "green" after reading this article.

        With the precise approach and definite goals, green manufacturing holds good economic benefits including long-term cost savings, waste reductions and Eco-efficient processes.

Why do Companies Go Green?

       Some business owners and executives actually have conscience to go "green" and provide a competitive edge to customers that are environmentally conscious.

                                                                                         

      Going green improves public image and enhance positive impact on customers. Probably, one of the biggest reasons could be an opportunity to be seen as "Environmentally conscious". Companies who go green can play up to the emotions of customers, and say "Hey, buy from us. We're Green, we care about our environment, and our non-green competitor apparently does not."

         Going green makes sense and make profits by reducing the company's energy consumption expenses and provide a healthy environment to the society.

       A large number of companies would claim to be "green", although defining a "green" company is difficult and depends on the criteria adopted, While few are "green" in all aspects of their operations.

Who are Green Consumers?

         People who care sufficiently about the environment to make a conscious effort to buy products that avoid environmental damage are generally called as Green Consumers. They are very concerned about the environment and purchase only Eco-friendly products viz. non-toxic, recyclable, products made from natural ingredients, products made without causing pollution.

     People at one end of the spectrum pay little attention towards environmental issues, though environmental concerns expressed by opinion polls are increasing day by day. People's main interest is "Value for Money", and they would only buy a green product if it were not expensive. At the other end of consumer spectrum is the tiny band of committed greens, for whom green credentials are deciding factor when choosing a product. Since, Green products tend to be more expensive, price "resistance" is a major constraint on market demand.

French Fried Oil Change

         There are two types of men in this world. The one who get under the hood of the car and change the oil themselves and the others touch the oil when they eat French fries. People who know me, know that I'm French fries kind of guy.

         In the recent times I decided to make a change. I thought of doing oil change myself. Accordingly I  designed a four step process how to do it.

1. Research

2. Planning, 

3. Execution and 

4. The last and more important Show Off

What you are reading right now is Step 4. Some optimists like to call it communication. With that thought I would take you through the first three steps.

1. Research:

          I went to university library and I was searching for the book, "oil change for dummies". I didn't find it. I went to the sweet girl in the counter and asked for the book "Oil change for dummies". She gave me a strange and weird look, like as if I was hitting on her. I wanted to explain to that lady that "I've come here looking for a book, not a woman". I figured out that world is not supportive for a man who wants to do oil change on his own. I reluctantly got into the Internet. I decided that was my last option available.

2. Planning:

       I have high amount of distrust about the information available on the Internet. Somehow I took the information, and compartmentalized the things to do under the car, things to do under the hood, things to do inside the car. I made an extensive notes and arranged in file folders, took some photographs of my car and compared it with the diagrams on the Internet. with this much research and planning, I was ready for the mission, took my laptop, my Iphone, put them in my backpack, with hundreds of research papers and walked towards my car. I had a walk of a man who would not take a NO as an answer.

3. Execution:

        I approached my car and got under the car, it was a world of darkness. but I was excited because that was the first time I have ever gone under the car. I looked over and unscrewed the oil reservoir to get rid of the old one. kept the oil pan which I had purchased during planning stage underneath it. the oil was slowly falling down. I noticed something was going wrong here. I always remembered engine oil was dark blackish/brown in color, but the oil which was dripping was light in color something like water. then I realized I just opened the transmission fluid tank instead of oil tank. As I am the master of the perfect cover, I closed it with my hand and managed to open the oil tank. there was few drops of transmission fluid that got lost, I don't know how much does that matter to a car.

         After the successful completion of step under the car, now it was time to get under the hood. I opened the hood, and that opened a new gate of my life. I looked inside the hood, and what I saw was bliss. The sight which eluded me for so many years of my life. I located the oil reservoir, poured the oil  into the oil reservoir, I poured another liter too. after searching a little bit, I found oil filter, removed it and replaced with the new filter I had lubricated and put it back. Oh! By the way, taking out an oil filter is not an easy thing. I had to use all the 750 muscles in my body to remove it. Realistically I could have used a hammer and plopped it. Now task under the hood is completed.

         I looked around and I saw some people walking by, completely oblivious to my achievement. How Rude!! They didn't care that I have achieved such a great thing. I closed the hood with a sound that gave a bad boy image, and then got inside the car and started the ignition. Then I heard sweet music of engine saying "Thank you Aarvi for the oil change". The car started and I was going smoothly on the sweet land of satisfaction and sweet land of male ego vindication.

        On the half way thru, the dash started beeping. Beep! Beep! the message that the dash was showing was so embarrassing.

People say, "For any good story, don't spoil it with facts."

Let me tell you folks, there are two types of people, one who go under the hood of the car and change the oil and there are others who go under the hood of the car and put 2 liters of oil in transmission tank.

A Probable LIFE

        In this fast pacing world, we struggle to find little time for ourselves, where we know what is going on in other’s life but are unaware about ourselves. We try and understand the idiosyncrasy of our neighbors, our loved ones and at times we miserably fail. Someone is busy trying to impress a girl, in a few cases the so called 'girl' is replaced by a manager or Boss for that matter. Some are hoping for positive replies to love proposals and a few are waiting for negative outcomes in medical reports. Some are confused about what career to choose and some are regretting on what they have already done. Some are busy campaigning for the elections and some are busy waiting for the justice to deliver. Have we ever tried and figure out what's going right and what's not?

        At the age of 8-10, if one would ask a child “What do you want to become once you grow up?” The probable answers would be ‘a pilot’, 'an astronaut’ or some would say ‘a police man’. As and when they grow, their answers to the same questions would sound realistic, the guy now at the age of 16 would say ‘a Doctor, a Lawyer, or an Engineer’ and so on. So, the relation says as one grows up, his/her sensible thinking is inversely proportional to their age and that is probably what we call as Experience. So as per this formula of experience, at the age of 60, one would be able to say whether the decision to opt for a particular career was correct or not!

When do you feel that it’s not exactly going the way you once thought it to be?

How do you feel when people treat you as unproven theorems?

How does it feel to see your ex-love happy with someone else?

How does it feel when you realize that life is not that fancy fairy tale which you have been reading in books?

      The reality is that you are just riding the wave and going with the flow where confidence and experience are inversely proportional. This is the stage of life where one has already tasted the bitterness of above questions or just felt to realize it.

       The time after graduation, at the age of 24 -25 years is what one might find all these questions relevant. Where every single person encountering around asks you about career, future plans, marriage and what not. The real thing is you might not like facing those difficult to answer kind of questions, the right questions at a wrong time in your life. You know now love is not that blind and that friendship has its terms and conditions. But it is all fair. Probably this is called Life.

        As it is rightly said by Robert Frost ‘A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body - the wishbone’. It's good to be a day dreamer because if not in reality at least it is about cherishing the life you always want to live.

'Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.' – Albert Einstein.

A Question of Safety?

        We are at a point in our lives where things are easy to come by. Our economy, educations and jobs have dictated a higher, if not healthier standard of living. To our immediately senior generation, buying a car was a stuff of dreams. They used to plan for years on end just to purchase their first automobile. Mostly it would have been Maruti 800, and indeed it was a joyous and special feeling to see your first car in the flesh, at the showroom waiting for delivery.

        But all this was way back in the date, today we are spoiled for choice and the options we have are quite endless, nobody in our position buys a tiny, entry level hatchback nowadays and that's a testament to how things have improved in such a short span.

        We as a nation of engineers personally witnessed immense growth. We are one of the largest producers, consumers and exporters of vehicles in the world, not to mention an engineering powerhouse. But do we really practice what we preach, at least when it comes to purchasing a car?

        As Indians, we look for the best bargain, infact Google had even released a report recently that we Indians do a lot of research about the products we're interested in before making a buying decision. Naturally that translates that we are very well-informed lot. But the sad truth is we're not. We only look at the bargain and fail to foresee the repercussions we might face at that cost. At least this is the mindset we have while purchasing a vehicle. How many of us consider important safety features such as airbags or ABS while making a purchase decision? Why hasn't the government made these features mandatory? Why are manufacturers deliberately avoiding these features in entry-level cars?

        We all should know how important safety features are in a vehicle. Safety is not something that manufacturers oversee or apply as an afterthought. They are integral to a vehicle system and its passengers. How the government's automotive regulatory board as skipped these mandatory considerations in vehicles is beyond me, but we can make a difference. Signing petitions is a good move, all manufacturers, engineering concerns and consumers can rally for this cause which might drastically bring down fatalities, but in India and its bureaucracy there's still a long road ahead. But it's also the consumer's responsibility to make sure that the car which he/she is going to purchase next is specified with safety features like ABS and airbags. General conjecture is that one might drive properly and safely and that those features are unnecessary, but be warned; the person driving opposite/next to you might not be a very good driver. Better safe than sorry. it's not just our life that you're endangering, but also that of a loved one. Maybe it's prudent to say that you can leave the crashing and crash testing to those crash-test dummies instead of being a dummy human.

Drive/Ride Safely. Wear Seat-belt/Helmet