Me - My Office - Hyderabad

That was Oct 28, 2010 - It was my first day at my first office. I stepped into the office with an excitement, anxiety, curiosity to experience a new world - the Corporate life. All the new joiners were ordered to assemble at Gurukul (our biggest conference hall). We introduced ourselves with each other and we're now officially called colleagues. We chit-chatted as usual which we inherited from engineering.

Later for a week, we had the same routine and boring classroom lectures - How to be in office? How to behave in office? What to do? What not to do? Blah Blah Blah. Some of our so called colleagues are into their usual routines - sleeping, but I ignored those lectures and passed time by looking at a pretty face who was in her cabin which was visible quite opposite to the window, where I had seated.

After a week of terrible orientation programme, we had to go an institute for our corporate training. There started my mechanical life... getting up early, be ready as a professional as the CEO of a company. Got into the bus towards Kukatpally with a formal shirt neatly tucked in, which is a long 30 kms from my sweet home. Traveling in Hyderabad's crowded buses is no different from being in hell. It's as hell that I had to buy a bike within a month. By the time I reached my destination, I looked like Raj Kapoor in Mera joota hai japani, with my shirt tucked out and my black shoes turned white..:-)

My new life was fantastic in the beginning; it was neat, clean, and cool. Later on, having little food made me feel heavy (felt like I returned from Biryani competition). Having little food became trendy.

Life was running fantastic in the beginning of my corporate odyssey. I wasn't accustomed to the corporate environment till 3 months. I started to hangout with friends on every weekend and was introduced to the major time passer - shopping malls, resorts, etc...

I usually go to office before the sunrise and return in the late evenings. I felt my life was screwed up, multiple thoughts were running in my head, I realized I'm had to work for paychecks. I wanted to do something more in my career to achieve greater heights. MTech, MS, MBA, or PhD, or venture into some business.

The M word

The controversy between Harbhajan Singh and Andrew Symonds in a match, I felt pity on Bhajji, the poor guy faced strong criticism as he addressed Symo as 'monkey' (I'm still in dilemma whether he said 'Maaki' (in Hindi) or 'Monkey' (in English)).

See my dear readers, if saying 'monkey' is a crime then my friends, my relatives and my near and dear would have been imprisoned quite a long ago for the offenses they have made.

[Specifically my dad. He has creative ways of scolding, i.e 'mental monkey', 'brainless monkey', 'langur' and sometimes even combinations - 'mental joker monkey' etc. My mother prefers 'kothi mokam' (Monkey Face)].

The point is, Bhajji could have said a many other things but he preferred saying monkey. I strongly believed that monkey was not a racist word in any aspect. Because -

1. Monkey does not refer to color/race in any way.
2. Well, we (the so called human beings) were derived from monkeys (according to Darwin's theory). If that was truth, then we have to accept the fact that monkeys are our relatives.
3. It could be a compliment, monkeys are admired in India.

M.O.T.H.E.R.S

Like the few other million people in this world, I too, watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S. And continue to watch reruns whenever I can. The time I used to see the show, Amma would brush it off as 'just another TV show' and never really bothered.

When I was watching a re-run, I didn't really expect a change.
Big Mistake.

I was seeing the re-run and my mother plopped next to me.

"What you watching"

"Friends, ma"

" It's a serial right?"


"Yes, ma"

She watches for some time and also sees me giggling at Ross' antics.

" What are they saying? I don't get it. And who's that guy?"

"Ross, ma"

" Then who's the girl?"

"Rachel"

"Is that their baby?"

"Ya"

" So they are husband-wife right?"


"No, ma"

My mother's eyes go wide.

" What are you saying? They are in the same apartment, they have a BABY, but they aren't husband-wife?"

My mouth turns dry. I try to explain it to her.

"No ma, it's like a live-in relationship"

"So they've slept with each other?"

I blink at her bluntness.

"Yeah I guess"

"Ok, do Rachel's parents know about the baby?"

Clearly, all those E TV and Gemini TV mega serials have left a deep impact on her.

"yea, they know"

"What, don't they know how to control their daughter? God!"

"Uh, stop it ma. Maybe they were ok with it"

"What ok? If I were her mother, things would have been different."


I swallow the saliva. And change the channel.

"Why are you changing the channel? Keep it, I want to see what you watch”

My mother continues to watch it and give her feedback, while I continue to swallow my own saliva.

"Who is that girl?"

"Phoebe ma"

"Wasn't she with that guy, mike? Why is she with this guy now?"

"No ma, David is her ex-boyfriend"

"Ex boyfriend right? then why is she kissing him?"

"Maybe she still likes him"

"Chi chi, How shame..auvvah"

"Ammaaa..."

And it didn't stop. She just went on. And on. And on. I do believe that it was the longest half hour of my life. And I ran out of saliva to swallow as well.

When the credits came on (finally), she left the living room saying something about how

"I don't know how do you watch these stuff".

I made a mental note that day to watch the show on the computer from now.

Vroooommmm....

After 10 months of procrastination, I finally shifted gear to learn driving. I chose the so called "special" class. However, there was nothing "special" about that, except for the fact that I had to drive a useless Santro instead of the usual Maruti 800. My trainer was a bald middle aged guy. He ordered me to sit in the co-driver seat and started his interrogation.

"Sooo What are you doing-u?"

"Working in Satyam"

"Oh Big boy-ah.. Ok."

"Hmm"

"Now you want to drive ah?"

No, I came here to learn how to make idly and sambhar
I nodded my head anyway.
"Yes"

"Ok. In LKG class, you lerrnd. Yay fur Yapil, Be fur Bhaal, See fur Cyat. That is LKG okay??.. In Driving-u, you lerrn, Yay fur Akselaratur, Be fur Brayke, See fur Klech. Understand ah?"
I nod my head vigorously.
"Understand means repeat-u"

"A for accelerator, B for Brake, C for Clutch" I repeat, felt more like an idiot with every syllable.

"Layft leg on klech. You press klech and then put gear-u. And you release klech ah. 2 inches. Called-u biting point ah..okay?. That time you suloly STAMP accelerator ah. Understand?"

STAMP accelerator. Got it.

"Wo-kay! Now you are ready na. Come to this side."

I got out of the car and sat in the driver seat and took the steering wheel into my hands. I felt a strange sense of power in my hands.

I turned on the engine and in my excitement turned the key a bit too long, making the engine sound Vroooooom.

Instructor got tensed.
"Em babu, want to drive race ah? Sumal turn, SUMAL!!!"


The Santro was so useless that I had to put a bit of energy into pressing the clutch, and my instructor was shouting 'Push! push! push-ah! Full!'.

After finally pressing the clutch and changing the gear, I conveniently forgot the next step, so the car jerked forward about two feet.

"Akkselaratorr babu, you forget ah? Try again-u?"

I followed his instructions properly this time and managed to get the car running. The car moving gave me such a high that I forgot to take my foot off the accelerator.

"AIYYIYYO! Speed babu! Speed no! Speed sloww! Not drive so fast on first giyar-u. Brake-u brake-u."

I came myself out of my NFS dreams and got back to learn shifting gears.

I drove 4 kms for my next class (Because, on the first day i got chance only to steer). But I thought I did it pretty good, the turning bits specifically 
("Aiyyiyyo! Left-u! Turn-u turn-u! Aiyyiyyo! Vegetable man-u! Horn-u okay, Beep! Beep!")

"Ok babu. You are fast-u. Come tomorrow, same time-u. Okay tata see you. Go walking-u slow."

"OK, bye" I said enthusiastically.

As I walked down, I could hear him mumbling something about his retirement.

I had a  strong feeling that I would get my license very soon!

Blurred

23 years of existence. Correction. 23 years, 6 months, 3 weeks counting.
It's all a big blur.
I mean 20 years back, I was perfectly happy trying to figure out the simple pleasures of life, like gurgling, sleeping all day, and pissing anywhere I wanted to.
Ah, that was the life, yes?
But now, I'm suddenly 5 ft 11 or something and have responsibilities and other worldly burdens of that sort.
I had to study *groan*, get good grades *groaner* and make mom and dad proud *groanest*.
Not that I can't do any of those things, but you get my drift.
Sometimes I wonder.
How it would be to break free and live in a world where there are no ties, no boundaries, no responsibilities, no obligations.
How it would be to go where I wanted to, when i wanted and in whichever way I wanted to.
No rules, No limits, No mom and dad behind my back.
And then, I remember, why I'm doing all this in the first place.
Its because mom n dad does something that made me feel so fuzzy inside.
They paid my bills.